The Onion has just raised the bar for children’s books when Norah and her animal friends learn that plastic surgery will make people love them more…
As the book opens, Norah, a little girl who inherited her father’s “generous” nose, is peering out her bedroom window at the moon.
“‘Good night!’ Miss Moon said to Norah,” the book reads. “But although the beautiful Miss Moon said good night to Norah, she said it the same way Mommy says good night to homely Miss Crabgrass or creepy old Mr. Kratch. Norah became very sad.”
Norah’s mother explains to her that something is preventing Miss Moon from seeing what a pretty little girl she is–something “right in front of her face.”
“It isn’t Miss Moon’s fault she can’t see your inner beauty,” Mommy gently tells Norah. “Miss Moon may be very special, but she isn’t all-powerful.”
Using an enchanted mirror, Mommy shows Norah the difference between her own perfect nose and her daughter’s “big, broad, bulky bird beak.” Norah starts to cry, but Mommy assures her that doctors at the hospital can solve her problem, just like they solved Mommy’s.