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If You Hate Your Penis, You’ll Love the Extensys 4000

May 10th, 2007 Josh Umbehr not funny


If you are like most men (unless you’re a woman), you’re genetically hard wired to love, respect, and even brag about your “man piece,” and that’s exactly why you’d never think of putting it into this man hating, penis punishing, medieval stretching device. The Extensys 4000, co-developed by an orthodontist and a urologist, can best be described as a brace for your pecker and claims to increase your golf swing…raise your roof…turn your canoe into a yacht…make your wee-man a he-man…and maybe even stretch out your wang.

Dr. Ameyda, an orthodontist with over two decades of experience, and Dr. Cenilo, an urologist with over fifteen years of experience applied their experience and knowledge to create the Extensys4000™. In only 2 years the Extensys4000™ has become by far the most successful penile elongation therapy device.
The novel idea behind the Extensys4000™ was to approach penis enlargement by using a similar device to gradually and permanently grow the corpora cavernous as well as the corpus spongiosum.
This technique allows for the growth to remain, incorporated into the corpora cavernous without any of the scarring side effects that plague other elongation methods.
How It Works:
The Extensys4000™ is designed to be used at night in the privacy and comfort of your own home. It is very simple to use. Every night before going to bed you attach the device. This procedure takes only a minute and it is very comfortable to wear. The next morning you simply remove the device with the quick release latch.When you have the Extensys4000™ firmly attached proceed to turn the main dial to stretch the rings. The ring system is designed to move in unisson, stretching the penis in a uniform way. Once the desired tension is achieved release the ring and leave the device on untill the morning.
If you apply too much tension the safety mechanism releases the grip to avoid injury.
Extensys4000™ gradually and permanently elongates the corpora cavernous as well as the corpus spongiosum in your penis.
As the anatomy in your penis increases in size, your erections will become harder and easier to achieve.
The increase in blood flow and circulation will enhance sensitivity in nerve-rich head region of the penis. This increased sensitivity will lead to more intense and satisfying orgasms. Intercourse will be better and more enjoyable for both you and your partner.

The Extensys 4000’s website–a probable prank– claims that “90% of women prefer a bigger penis,” so most of you should rush out and buy this product. The other 10% should be happy that your wives aren’t size queens…
(hat tip: Gizmodo)

Josh Umbehr

Josh Umbehr, MD founded AtlasMD Concierge Family Practice, one of the fastest growing insurance-free practices in the country. Currently developing an industry leading platform for direct primary care physicians: Atlas EMR Software for Concierge Medicine.

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