A sucker is born every minute, and we know what they’re buying. They are falling prey to the Japanese-French artist Ora-ito’s “prescription for happiness,” which includes everything from perfume to body gel, to tan enhancers. We’ll spare you the “artists are not doctors” rant from the last time an artisan tried their hand at medicine.
Prescription free happiness, now available?! smiley offers a unisex and universal range of products with micro-nutrients to activate happiness. Its secret [cough cough] formula is based on natural bio-chemistry combining theobromine with phenylethylamine derived from pure cacao extract. this psycho-stimulant cocktail is available in a whole range of preparations using galencial pharmacology. A 100% medical look for a unique therapy, the range is revealed out of the confined box of the luxury perfume industry. this antidepressant remedty [sic] is to be consumed without moderation: in the shower, in the bath, for any specific use anytime you wish! the formuaes are preserved in exclusive perfume bottles developed by the prestigious glassmaking techniques of Saint Gobain and designed by Ora-ito. Nothing like it to containe [sic] the happy therapy!
In order to have everyone smile, even the most stubborn, smiley entrusted science with the composition of an olfactive substance with euphoriant bio-mechancis [sic]. It is in nature that the components of this psyco-active cocktail were drawn. thanks to research undertaken worldwide by scientists on the tangible benefits of aromatherapy, smiley isolated the ingredients recognized for their stimulating capacities and assembled them for the first time in a perfume. smiley contains monoaminated alkaloids having a pharmacodynamic action called phenylethylamine and theobromine. Phenylethylamine is to passion what endoerphin is to love. It sets off a feeling of joy, excitement and euphoria. Theobromine blocks the receivers of adrenalin and thus decreases the affects of stress by a comfortable feeling of well being. these two cariotonics associated together dope vitality and sets up the moral. It’s that simple. What were we waiting for to flood these beneficial molecules on everyone?!!!
Golly-gee Mr. Ora-ito, what big words you use. Surely your product must work exactly as described, especially since it sounds all scientific and stuff. Never mind that theobromine has a “ten fold less stimulating effect to humans than caffeine,” or that phenethylamine is a known skin irritant with a classic fishy odor. Exactly what part of your watered down caffeine and fishy skin irritation is supposed to instantly cure me of my depression?
Product Page . . . (warning: funkadelic Euro dance remix music)
(hat tip: Book of Joe)