Oh, Canada. David Keegan and Susan Bannister, doctors from north of the border, describe the use of a Super Soaker Max-D 5000 in successfully cleaning out waxy buildup. The write-up is an entertaining read:
A 45-year-old male complained of a profound reduction in his left ear acuity while staying at an island cottage in rural Ontario. His hearing loss was reducing his ability to hear his newborn son cry in the middle of the night, requiring his wife to carry out all late-night child care. As a result, correction of the problem was considered urgent.
Neither a formal ear syringe, nor a syringe of any kind was available on the island. The day was very hot, and no one was particularly in the mood to boat to Honey Harbour and then drive 45 minutes to Midland, just on account of ear wax. One of the owners of the property was consulted in his capacity as a professional engineer and the owner of a superbly stocked tool shed (rivalling a mid-sized Canadian Tire). He was not able to offer any substitute contraption of his own but suggested we approach his 4-year-old grandson to see if we could use his pressured water cannon.
Verbal consent (covering risks and benefits) was obtained from the patient. He then changed into swimming shorts, located himself on an ideal location on the deck and held a Tupperware container (product number 1611-16) to the side of his neck, in lieu of a kidney basin.
Just after starting the third load, a large plug of wax burst forth from the patient’s ear. The 3 generations of family members present took turns admiring (or recoiling from) the specimen.
The patient later reported a resumption in his nighttime ability to hear his infant son crying, which led to his being able to promptly jump out of bed and attend to his son’s needs, excluding breast-feeding. This return to normal enhanced the state of their marital bliss on this island location.
Next time I make something crafty while on vacation, I’m going to get it published in a major medical journal. Be sure to read the footnotes of the article, published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.
As always, a link to the device manufacturer. Alas, it appears the Max-D 5000 is no longer offered. (Maybe they should re-introduce it at 10x the price as a medical device)
