Sometimes, the editors of Medgadget stretch the definition of medical devices to include somewhat ordinary items — eyeglasses, tanning booths, etc.
With this in mind, we turn to the new Gillette Fusion. With batteries and LEDs and five pulsating razors, it better well be classified as a medical device.
It’s hard to tell if this is a hoax, especially when you compare Gillette exec’s quotes to a prescient Onion parody (NSFW):
“The Schick [four-blade Quattro] launch has nothing to do with this, it’s like comparing a Ferrari to a Volkswagen as far as we’re concerned,” said Chairman, President and Chief Executive James Kilts.
“There was never a plan to go to four,” said Peter Hoffman, president of Gillette’s blades and razors business, who said Fusion was in the development pipeline for several years.
Compare (the Onion actually used the Gillette CEO’s real name and photo):
Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let’s play it safe. Let’s make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we’re a business, that’s why!
…What part of this don’t you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best ******* razor that ever existed. Comprende? We didn’t claw our way to the top of the razor game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard. We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.