A joke from a fellow laborer in the recently oh-so-busy world of emergency medicine, Allen of GruntDoc dreams of ways to make his ER a better place:
the ED Lobby Vending Machine™, which will have the following: Hydrocodone, Amoxicillin and Work Excuses. They’ll be in single day packs, the machines will accept all major credit cards. A third of my truly questionable visits would/should use this and be gone. (I need a feature so they can bill it to their ever-present cellphone).
That leaves the remaining crush of patients. I don’t know if you’ve had this experience, but our ED has been wall-to-wall patients, literally. We have patients lining all the hallways, in beds: now, we’re running out of hallway space. Therefore, let’s go up! Stackable Patient Beds™, using those stand-on forklifts see in warehouse stores like Home Depot or Costco. I mean, with a zillion patients in the hall it’s not like anything’s going to happen quickly anyway, and expansion possibilities! The roof’s the limit!